The Optimistic Pessimist

A lot has happened since my last post; good and bad. We finished the play, our director had a heart attack and is now in a medicine induced coma to help him heal after his quadruple bypass surgery, I got my license, I am making a lateral move at the child care center I work at, my boyfriend and I have considered moving in together (although the details have not been sorted out, and it probably won't happen for a while...it's most likely going to happen), and I am going on vacation to see my family in Kokomo, Indiana; a few of whom I've never met, but are old enough to know that there's something odd in that.

And so I sit here, staring at the snow (which felt the need to come down at the end of April, but decided not to come down on christmas...so much for dreaming of a white one), and I think about how lucky I am to have what I do.
I live in a great country, where, even with it's quirks, I am free to do and say what any reasonable person would feel the need to.
I have a wonderful relationship with a man who loves and respects me, and treats me much better than I could ever have hoped to be treated.
I have a decent job, and although it's not well paid, I have toddlers who absolutely adore me, and even though they are brutally honest at times, I take what they say more seriously than most adults. Even though they are not going to remember anything they do now, they don't know how to lie or disrespect people. They are living for the moment, so to speak, and all is good. I hope they grow up to be how they are right now when it comes to that aspect of things. Real people. I love them for it.

And yet, with all that is going right in my life, I am like many others in the world who focus on the negatives. I think of things that I wish were different, and still do nothing to fix it. I think of how much I would love to spend more time with the people I hold dear to me, but still I say that I will call them tomorrow, or that they are too busy for a moment of my time. But do I call to even say hello? No. That's something I could easily change.
I think of how I don't get any respect from people I work with, but I continue to let them walk all over me and I don't say anything about it to them. Again, something that I could easily change.

So why is it that we humans do this? Because we are pessimists. It's in most peoples nature to look on the darker side of the equation, rather than search for the lighter side of the things in our lives. I admire the optimists. Hats off to you; you've over come an obstacle which most don't even realize is something hindering their growth. Keep it going.

From now on, I'm going to try my best to be a REALISTIC optimist...afterall....there is a limit...
:-D

Until then,

Signing off.